My Family's Adjustment Journey

In the book Among Cultures by B.J. Hall, one of the models was introduced for understanding the acculturation process called U. In this model, a person living in other country must go through the stages of Honeymoon, Crisis, Recovery, and finally Adjustment process. I don’t believe people go through the same process and the time it takes for them in each of these stages varies dramatically depending on their own situation. Luckily, everyone in my family seems to be adjusting new culture fairly smoothly. Years of prior effort for English acquisition made us acculturate much easier to live in the United States. But, my son, as a teenager, has been going through a unique experience and he adapted to the new culture faster than anybody else to fit in peer group. But the problem is that he seems to be confused with his identity He doesn’t value things he used to deem important as a Korean any more and try to follow American patterns of behavior wholesale. Oftentimes, his newly adopted attitude clashes with the rest of our family members, especially with me. While my son is having a difficult time of his own, I as a mom also have trouble watching my increasingly Americanized son change his attitude so abruptly. In addition, I often have doubt about how to present myself when I have to give him right advices such as “You have be selective in accepting American way while keeping desirable elements in traditional Asian values.” Even when I say this, I know it is not such a good advice to my son, who I am well aware is struggling hard to assimilate to peer group. I have sought advices from my husband and his other family members, my professors, and classmates. In addition to that, I have tried to reach out other parents who are in similar situation to share and exchange our adjustment experience so that our children could grow up to be balanced young adults while taking full advantage of bilingual and bicultural opportunities.